I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

00:00:06 Attention all units, attack in progress at 742 Summit Drive.

00:03:51 -I don't think so. -Then where do you draw the line?

00:08:11 ...into whom you shoot your emotional pain every weekend.

00:11:15 ...the stripper grabs my hands and puts them on her tits.

00:14:35 Not really.

00:17:41 ...it'd be irresponsible to go to clubs here.

00:21:31 ...and then donkey punch you when the infused syrup nugget explodes.

00:25:08 That tastes like ass.

00:28:25 Oh! Isn't she precious?

00:31:50 Why dost thou hate women so?

00:34:52 -You're a maniac. -Let's sit.

00:38:24 I have to pay the club $1 00 just to get the room for an hour.

00:41:39 Genius. That game came out after I was born.

00:44:43 Dan, we both know that's ridiculous. Put Drew on the phone.

00:48:17 I can't say I'm shocked.

00:53:24 Ooh.

00:57:03 Did you cheat?

01:03:18 -Especially your mom. -I promise.

01:07:14 -You don't think that's awesome? -Are you fucking kidding me?

01:11:56 Has your id-driven narcissism completely stripped you...

01:16:08 I'd like a chance to see if mine can float before you torpedo it, all right?

01:20:24 Hey, how's it going?

01:27:20 Oh, fuck.

01:33:36 And even though I probably don't deserve either of you in my life...