George Carlin: Personal Favorites

00:00:11 Action, George.

00:03:08 One.

00:05:34 Then have you noticed this, sometimes you'll get in a rut

00:07:54 and then you see Klaus, what are you gonna give him?

00:10:44 in your mind.

00:12:59 and maybe put some of your stuff in storage.

00:15:28 Right, you've gotta bring an even smaller version

00:18:01 First of all, um, baseball is a 19th century pastoral game.

00:21:19 of the enemy's defensive line.

00:24:33 He must think I'm made of shit or something.

00:26:41 And that seemed to satisfy his curiosity.

00:28:53 What's that, one of my tie tacks?

00:31:10 all because of some loose-lipped cashier.

00:34:00 Now, the dog might just embarrass you

00:37:47 I'll bet it don't look like that.

00:40:25 You're stuck, everything's up there.

00:43:03 No such luck, it was marked against you.

00:46:03 And of course, the country is founded on the double standard.

00:48:14 the blue eyes, those blue eyes

00:50:05 going on out there.

00:52:03 and see some serious goddamn injuries.

00:54:08 I'm not gonna pay to watch you buy a fucking loaf of bread.

00:56:30 I don't even want to mention water polo

00:59:17 Have a good time. Goodnight, thank you.