Everybody Wants to Be Italian
2007 · 105 MIN · IMDB 5.7 · 2,000 VOTES · DIR. Jason Todd Ipson
Overview
Are all relationships based on lies? Jake Bianski runs a fish market in north Boston, surrounded by Italians. For years, he's carried a torch for Isabella, an ex-girlfriend now married with three children and no interest in Jake. Yet, he tells everyone she's his girlfriend, including Marisa, a veterinarian his employees set him up with at the Italian singles club. She's interested in him until he tells her about his girlfriend, then he's persistent in asking her to be his friend. As the friendship bumps along, Jake realizes that reality may be better than fantasy, but what if Isabella changes her mind about Jake, and what if it comes out that Marisa, like Jake, isn't Italian?
Dialogue Timeline — 1,800 lines
A SAMPLE ACROSS THE RUNTIME — EVERY LINE IS SEARCHABLE
00:00:45 This is the best, though, right? This material?
00:05:41 How do you know? You ever been genetically tested?
00:09:45 So... so...
00:13:44 - What about her? - She's all right.
00:17:30 - I really apologize. - Wow.
00:21:29 - Yeah, cousin Eunuch. - Ah! Cousin Eunuch, see?
00:25:59 Freud says that a woman knows within five minutes of sitting down to dinner...
00:30:17 You saved enough money, not parking.
00:34:16 If you go to medical school and become a psychiatrist.
00:38:43 Why? They're animals too.
00:42:53 - His name's Michael. - There's no Michael.
00:47:08 Oh, he's not up there. I don't keep pictures of my exes.
00:51:50 What, this?
00:55:59 - I got a system there. - Well, clearly not one that's working.
01:00:24 You want me to be your psychologist?
01:04:02 And yours truly has lived it.
01:08:07 - Really? - It's good to be a monger.
01:13:56 Before or after! The Italian people were always part of the Allies.
01:17:50 You're never gonna know what happened.
01:22:26 I tried. She doesn't wanna talk to you.
01:27:06 Yeah, it's awesome.
01:31:03 Jackie, do me a favor.
01:37:19 if you don't mind, could you leave us alone?
500:00:00 you're not gonna tell me that?