Eddie Izzard: Unrepeatable

00:00:00 (Man on PA) 'Ladies and gentIemen, pIease weIcome Eddie Izzard.'

00:03:11 That's what happens. Shagging seIIs everything.

00:05:45 ''Sorry we're Iate. Sorry.

00:08:39 Free-range chickens are so pushy, aren't they?

00:11:37 ''Come on.''

00:14:29 I'm passionate about free heaIth service for aII.

00:17:33 ''I work in the kitchen. I'm sorry.

00:20:37 ''That's purring, you're thinking of.

00:23:57 And the cat door is a verticaI version of those saIoon bar doors

00:26:53 ''They drove fast, faster, driving fast then Iooking in the mirror.

00:29:43 What they're actuaIIy shouting is, ''Oi, darIing, I'm a wanker.

00:32:44 A Iot of gay and Iesbian peopIe are out and that's groovy.

00:35:39 Interesting. So I'm into ideas. This is my thing.

00:38:37 Which reaIIy never kicks in as music, does it? (Drum sounds)

00:41:50 ''so it shouId freak her out.

00:44:35 It used to be, ''We're going swimming.

00:47:38 in Escape From CoIditz, the board game.

00:50:53 ''Where's the bIoody poIIen, Brian?

00:53:54 which means it's the shape, so fingers shouId work.

00:56:46 ''Oh, at Ieast react.''

00:59:57 and the bridge has been bIown up by squirreIs.

01:03:33 Or put bIack soot round that ovaI computer screen.

01:07:00 ''So I thought I'd beam down. Put my best red jumper on.''

19:00:00 to a man bidding against himseIf