Eddie Izzard: Unrepeatable

00:00:00 (Man on PA) 'Ladies and gentIemen, pIease weIcome Eddie Izzard.'

00:03:06 ''and they're shagging.''

00:05:36 You've just gotta guess. You say, ''I'II have an H wash.''

00:08:21 ''This jam is made by groovy peopIe

00:11:11 They have one hand aIways in there as if they couId just go

00:14:02 I remember when I was five, going, ''You smeII...cos you do.

00:16:55 There's the posh ones at Sotheby's and Christie's.

00:19:56 And cats go... (Purrs)

00:23:02 Which was the first cat that persuaded a human to put a cat door in?

00:26:08 In Russia, they say, ''Get back to wherever you were toId

00:28:46 ''I toId him.

00:31:33 ''No.'' ''Ahh!''

00:34:23 And I don't tend to, ''Let's go. Here we go.''

00:37:12 There was a discipIe caIIed Zebedee.

00:40:34 ''What the heII's going on?

00:43:14 ''You young sparrows, get a haircut.

00:45:57 ''Pay for bronze, you get bronze, mate.''

00:49:03 So it's weird. To make honey, ten bees get together

00:52:02 You get this rubbish on. I can watch it for hours.

00:55:03 ''Just piss off, mate.'' (Squeaky wheeIs)

00:57:54 ''Oo-arr. Ooh-hoo!

01:01:15 The guy goes deep into the forest and then you know he's had it.

01:04:25 But you never saw them in the morning as they came in

01:07:45 ''You bastards, you just Iet me do that?''