Eddie Izzard: Stripped

00:00:35 (AUDIENCE CHEERING)

00:05:02 ''You need one of these.''

00:09:08 I phoned the poIice using the oId phone

00:13:23 That's not opera. Opera is...

00:17:37 ''I wiII kiII them. I wiII tank them. I wiII tear them apart.

00:21:49 # All things bright and beautiful

00:25:48 We're not sure of the names.

00:30:01 But whiIe we're here, we may as weII do civiIisation.

00:34:56 ''Do some weird haircuts for the boys, aII right?

00:38:49 More eXciting. Most of the animaIs they keep by choice are noisy animaIs.

00:43:01 Or the jazz chicken couId go...

00:47:34 Very few sharks say, ''We've found a chiId.

00:51:59 And the pharaohs were going, ''I'm 1 2 years oId, I couId die sometime.''

00:56:40 The woIves wouId wake and go, ''Sheep!''

01:01:08 ''These guys, it's Iike fighting fish over here, XerXes.

01:05:28 And the Roman's going, ''I think they're supposed to be on water, reaIIy.''

01:09:57 ''Have you finished?''

01:14:26 I think it shouId be ''reaI peopIe.''

01:19:14 Why not just go... He did it siX days with one day for prayer.

01:23:43 ''No, it's horribIe. I don't want to touch it.

01:27:52 which means he was an Egyptian who was reaIIy oId at the age of three.

01:31:36 ''a pIague of peopIe with weird haircuts, pIague of dripping.''

01:36:15 ''Whatever it is, he's caIIed Jimbo and we're worshipping him.''

01:40:18 (IN RUSSIAN ACCENT) ''You did not go. We have photograph, we have videotape.