Eddie Izzard: Live at Madison Square Garden

00:00:17 [ cheering ]

00:05:29 i was, you know."

00:08:49 "do you realize how fast you were going?"

00:13:03 "uncle jesus."

00:16:45 "steady."

00:20:12 you may have a pc. It doesn't really matter.

00:23:24 'cause anything could be on the terms and conditions. Anything.

00:27:22 back in the old days, we had the famous battle in england

00:30:50 full of noisy animals.

00:34:04 everything had to be on the boat

00:37:32 "it's the day when the ark--

00:40:47 and the end of empires.

00:45:01 here is janine with the weather.

00:48:48 called on the good ship lollipop.

00:52:41 so you couldn't get at them.

00:57:47 when hannibal, the famous general

01:02:20 [ speaking gibberish ]

01:05:52 the story of an amoeba called pip

01:09:02 creationism is when god went shazam.

01:12:29 cows should be going... [ Inhaling and exhaling ]

01:15:53 now, think about it.

01:18:51 a plague of--you'd have to-- a plague of frogs.

01:22:14 i'd smelt metal.

01:25:19 [ whoosh ]