Demetri Martin. Person.

00:00:17 A lot of things happened

00:01:41 Oh, ok. They're saying I should do more. Alright.

00:03:14 Rock can break through paper at any point.

00:04:41 What the hell do you think you're doing?!

00:06:17 Then one time I would leave a tiny sweater next to the cans.

00:07:41 'By like a hundred percent man.'

00:09:08 So this is a large pad.

00:10:40 I don't know, but I'm sore and I want to go home.

00:12:12 Don't do it.

00:13:36 When you leave the room I try to get it.

00:15:12 Pillow vs. pillow, crazy awesome.

00:16:59 is when you sleep on someone

00:18:39 They're probably overworkaholled

00:20:47 Rain is short for

00:22:18 I love birthdays.

00:23:33 'Liar!'

00:27:28 But unlike the mermaid the vertimaid is split down the middle.

00:29:12 This has stirred up a bit of contention in the mytho-zoological field

00:32:24 Ladies.

00:33:58 'Hey man, what are you playing?'

00:35:45 Off into the sky forever. There's where my jokes go.

00:37:13 This is a bridge!

00:39:20 He's not famous, but that's ok.

00:41:07 P.S. Sorry for any mistakes and the few missing pieces.