Date and Switch

00:00:19 (PIANO PLAYING)

00:04:21 You're terrific, appearance-wise

00:07:51 What! I have a genius idea. We should save this brownie

00:11:41 Well, shit, the whole brownie thing's out the window.

00:16:23 Thanks. There's so much shit in here.

00:19:16 Lady fish and dude fish, straight fish and gay fish.

00:23:08 E for enthusiasm. Certainly.

00:26:04 You tripped me? Who the fuck trips people?

00:29:30 Two mojitos, please.

00:33:22 You're patting me on the head like a dog.

00:37:27 Or you wanted to put it to better use

00:40:21 and my parents totally freaked out

00:43:57 Here comes the robot voice. What?

00:46:49 Dude, it's just singing.

00:50:16 No! It looks great.

00:54:26 MICHAEL: Thanks for coming.

00:57:53 and that's saying a lot.

01:01:19 I definitely wouldn't have sex with a gay guy.

01:05:25 I said, "Laurie, I will sell all of these lace-up board shorts today.

01:09:49 Uh-oh.

01:13:49 and that's a rare thing.

01:18:19 Shit, it's the principal.

01:23:01 It would have been better than all the stupid stuff I did.

01:27:01 (EM LAUGHING)