Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen

00:00:04 All aboard!

00:03:15 And they're off and running.

00:05:56 Wow. Wow!

00:08:25 Except crack, jack, crank, meth, ludes

00:11:13 You're not in prison anymore.

00:13:55 But Charlie's a gentleman.

00:17:08 I can't tell if you've had a face-lift

00:20:11 Give it up for the warlock!

00:23:46 Thanks for playing my nephew's bar mitzvah last year.

00:26:45 In fact...

00:29:35 many verses in my secret garden

00:31:56 I'm the--I'm Robert Frost.

00:35:09 and here's some free advice, Steve-O.

00:38:46 you're a good sport for being here tonight.

00:42:09 Mike, bro, I am ready.

00:45:08 she'd look like a [bleep] porcupine.

00:47:35 That shit is crazy, man.

00:50:30 Or let an Asian drive.

00:53:32 Thank you. Thank you very much.

00:56:06 Seth needs a Barbera...

00:58:57 and, uh, I'm impressed by you, and I wanted to say that.

01:02:07 There it is. There it is.

01:05:14 once again, I have come out unscathed.

01:08:44 - Don't hurt me. - Oh!