Carlin at Carnegie

00:00:10 Everybody's heard the old joke: "How do you get to Carnegie Hall?"

00:02:24 Thank you! Good evening everybody!

00:05:11 I had an interesting morning...

00:07:43 I think I've had my share...

00:10:00 "Hair" is fine.

00:12:47 Could be cake...!

00:15:01 "It came to me in a dream!"

00:17:33 That sounds like a circus act! "Ladies and gentlemen, the Garbanzoes!"

00:20:00 ...with big pinchers...

00:22:42 ...to have her tits reversed!

00:26:19 Do you realise that the Mexican Hat Dance was written by two individuals...?

00:29:19 See? You can have someone else's dog for a while! "Hi, Lassie!"

00:31:24 Sooner or later, lying on the bed, he's gonna create an incident...

00:33:49 ...waiting for you to come home...

00:36:01 Have you ever seen a dog walking through a room and suddenly he stops and chews his back for 18 minutes?

00:38:29 'Cause they got eyebrows! Dogs have eyebrows!

00:40:31 God I love them, they're so cute! They're even cute when they kill!

00:42:31 Like you pressed the ass-button or something!

00:45:12 Hitler only had one ball! A lot of people don't know that!

00:47:44 Take a shit?

00:50:23 Would seem like a natural habitat!

00:52:42 Can he fuck her some more? Will they fuck too much? Will they get silly from fucking?

00:55:10 "Ride on, boner, stiff, piss hard, blue balls...·

08:10:01 sometimes 14...