Born Again Virgin Christmas Special

00:00:02 Santa? Is that you? [Bleep]

00:00:27 ♪ the malls are filled with assholes ♪ ♪ carolers sing so bold

00:01:00 ♪ then I'm calling my supplier ♪

00:01:36 natural enemies? Hmmph! Well!

00:01:58 ♪ we're all the same on Christmas day ♪

00:02:33 Welcome to Santa's Workshop!

00:03:01 Everyone wants to know about reindeer.

00:03:24 Why, you ask? Just watch.

00:03:56 Remember... Remember... [ Gasps ]

00:04:27 Ghosts!!

00:04:58 You guys had GPS on your phones! Why wouldn't you use it?!

00:05:27 Aw. Aw! This isn't two-ply. This isn't even a ply.

00:05:59 I see.

00:06:20 Now, that's a snowman!

00:07:04 Please use it in a sentence. "'I'm too stupid to spell hannaka,'

00:07:30 [ Buzzer sounds ] ♪ Angelina Jolie -- not a Jew ♪

00:08:02 You got to believe me. Your grandmother came out of nowhere!

00:08:23 A collision so destructive that all life would be wiped out, save perhaps an isolated

00:08:53 I'm asking Santa to bust through that kraut line and

00:09:20 What was that?

00:09:42 Ho ho ho!

00:10:17 sleigh over Eastern Europe! Kids better hurry up and get to bed!

00:10:36 I'd like to watch you hop all over the world, Mario.

02:00:06 The Distant Uncle Act now