Bill Bailey: Qualmpeddler
2013 · 93 MIN · IMDB 7.4 · 298 VOTES · DIR. Russell Thomas
Overview
After receiving rave reviews in Australia, New Zealand and the UK, Bill Bailey brings ‘Qualmpeddler’ to the Hammersmith Apollo London. A brilliant mix of stand-up, stories, music and old-fashioned wit distilled from his own extraordinary experiences and reactions to the modern world, he looks at Cut-Price Shark Diving, The Hiding Skills of Dentists, A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance & Internet Shopping, Mandarin Ambiguity, Religious Dubstep, and Fashioning Replacement Hamsters. All in all, vintage Bill Bailey with trademark musical mash-ups, multi-lingual riffs, films, songs, philosophizing and silliness on a grand scale…plus one amazing owl. “Qualmpeddler is... part rock-concert, part political discourse, part philosophical enquiry... masterfully constructed... the thinking person’s comedian...” - Herald Sun, Melbourne.
Dialogue Timeline — 1,442 lines
A SAMPLE ACROSS THE RUNTIME — EVERY LINE IS SEARCHABLE
00:00:27 ANNOUNCER: Good evening, people of London!
00:04:22 (IN LONDON 'YOUTH' ACCENT) with the West London swagger, like that.
00:08:06 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
00:11:42 10 million quid on that funeral, that was a bit lame, wasn't it?
00:15:15 or the secular equivalent, she isn't the brightest
00:19:23 Yeah... So...
00:22:46 Top of your foot... (GRUNTING)
00:25:50 two toilet brushes gaffered to the outside?
00:29:26 (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
00:33:15 Remember the context, right?
00:36:55 There's this one mnemonic that we've been using for years
00:40:50 So he said, "Was it a goose?"
00:45:35 Yow!
00:49:02 it's like making the music go further.
00:53:44 I really like doing that. I'm going to do it again.
00:57:54 "How's he doing?" "You think you've got problems!"
01:01:37 and Pakistan spent $34 of it on a poster campaign which said
01:05:40 a salamander in a bath, civet cats in cages
01:08:47 is this an owl-homing scam
01:12:48 And I was at a family christening and the vicar
01:18:19 - (GROWLING) - (PLAYING DEATH METAL MUSIC)
01:23:05 Cheers! You know what? Yeah...
01:27:31 Arigato, akuda mas, akudesta, so desne...
01:32:30 (AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)