Anthony Jeselnik: Caligula

00:00:49 I know right

00:03:22 Just to see what kind of crowd I'm dealing with here

00:05:21 "Hey Jeselnik amazing job as usual"

00:07:56 Hit a little kid with my car

00:10:13 Would you if you had a different girlfriend?

00:12:37 It was the biggest disaster of all time

00:14:54 That's your answer. That's what you gonna say to me?

00:18:43 Because fight we get into is my fault

00:20:57 How long have you guys been together? right here..

00:23:15 I have got this friend named Kevin

00:25:05 Now I heard that I thought that was pretty mean. You know

00:27:00 But you are wrong

00:28:55 Always in the airport. Even flying in Chicago a couple of days ago

00:30:55 Literally While she was eating cake

00:32:47 If he just

00:34:57 And immediately afterwards my mom calls me on the phone

00:37:24 But all my mom cares about now is the lottery and me running errands for her

00:39:27 Playing regular Roulette

00:41:49 And she brings with her a house plant.She is like"

00:44:23 Unfortunately, she was also a terrible person

00:46:42 So when was a kid like 12 years old Her parents nailed a 25 pound

00:49:22 I like when people come up and say: "Anthony, you are a genius"

00:51:49 Plus, You are an idiot. If you felt

00:53:48 Of course Casey Anthony is innocent