An Audience with Ken Dodd

00:00:23 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Ken Dodd!

00:04:03 You did? Come and see me after the show.

00:07:55 At eight l had a flea circus until my mother stopped me playing with the lad next door.

00:11:14 Optimistic.

00:15:05 ''l've been in the kitchen whistling my head off...

00:19:11 Sitting on the water bed. Last night we left it switched on and we were nearly poached.

00:23:36 Dame Hilda Bracket.

00:27:14 (# Sings gibberish)

00:32:02 Moggyskin long johns.

00:36:11 My question is rather personal, really.

00:40:25 Arthur Askey was a wonderful man. lt was like a firework display going off.

00:44:32 and then say, ''Where's all the passion gone?''

00:48:32 And even the far north - you've mentioned Glasgow Empire.

00:52:18 They're the ones with the velvet knickerbockers and lace ruffs and long, wavy hair.

00:55:57 There's a fella in Liverpool, he's had four wooden legs.

00:59:36 # l don't mind those grey skies

01:02:40 Someone's on a promise.

01:06:05 Ha-ha-ha-ha!

01:10:08 ''Do you believe in safe sex?''

01:13:38 (Speaks cod ltalian)

01:17:27 ln Britain, when a lady's having a romantic interlude she looks up and says

01:21:03 They hire these videos all about werewolves and vampires.

01:25:06 But you'll know you're knocking on a little bit

01:29:14 (Cheering continues)