'Allo 'Allo! — S01E01 — The British 'ave Come
1984 · 30 MIN · IMDB 7.9 · 283 VOTES · DIR. David Croft
Overview
The Colonel and the Captain mull over their situation and decide they should probably hand over René and the painting to the Gestapo in order to get rid of Herr Flick. But René convinces them that they could hand over a forged copy of the painting instead (with the assistance of a conveniently-located forger), and gets them to lend their uniforms to the escaping British airmen so they can take the painting to England to be forged. Meanwhile, everyone keeps handing René poison pills "to make it easier", Herr Flick decides his relationship with Helga should include an intimate dinner in Rene's back room, and Hans figures out that putting cheese in one's ears improves the sound of Madame Edith's singing.
Dialogue Timeline — 562 lines
A SAMPLE ACROSS THE RUNTIME — EVERY LINE IS SEARCHABLE
00:00:25 We need more cement. Where is Yvette?
00:01:20 Go upstairs and stand by the door.
00:02:23 So I wipe my hands on Yvette's blouse
00:03:42 Where is Michelle?
00:04:32 It is from a reliable source. It is good information.
00:05:26 and the painting of The Fallen Madonna with the big boobies.
00:06:37 No? Well...
00:07:41 Then we have a nice warm fire whenever we want.
00:08:59 Oh, thank you.
00:09:54 No Hans, no score.
00:10:55 So I am going to give you this ring.
00:12:00 You may keep the cheese.
00:13:43 I mustn't use gruyere again...
00:15:08 This is our life insurance.
00:16:19 To make you hear me.
00:17:46 Look it up in the code book.
00:18:58 How can you treat your poor mother in this manner?
00:19:59 No, Herr Flick.
00:21:19 He's climbing back!
00:22:19 but you will be doing it for France.
00:23:33 they will be returned to you.
00:24:51 They must not remove their trousers
00:26:04 Pst! Pst!
00:27:30 Woo!
Cast & Characters
Dialogue Record
Production Record
Factoids
'Allo 'Allo!, season 1, episode 1: The British 'ave Come.
https://www.themoviedb.org/tv/2211/season/1/episode/1IMDb rating preserved from the supplied subtitle archive; it may differ from the current IMDb rating.
Local subtitle archive