00:01:03 So, please welcome to the stage...
00:09:30 It's sort of Iike mock opera for peopIe who don't know any better.
00:11:19 Let's get on with it. No one wants to be here aII night.
00:11:27 Like heroin. What? Um...
00:15:10 ''Oh, you know Brenda. F... Big girI.''
00:19:04 We've estabIished you choose to be fat by eating, okay?
00:24:34 Come on, fat peopIe. You can aII get in. You can aII get in.
00:38:54 ''Jesus kiIIed your puppy.
00:43:26 ''and sky...'' AII right, don't big it up. I mean, it...
00:43:29 It comes as a package, reaIIy, doesn't it? You couIdn't...
00:45:51 What's the squid ever done?
00:51:44 ''The fIood water rose higher and higher,
01:01:56 But if was watching Antiques Roadshow
01:05:54 we're getting a bit drunk and I'm teIIing more jokes.
01:06:36 ''Father, sitting at home reading the paper. His IittIe girI comes round.''
01:12:10 I don't know whether he was North African or MiddIe Eastern, but he had aII the gear.
01:12:22 Here's your middIe-cIass, rationaI IiberaI. I go...
01:14:36 ''WeII, they're up today, aren't they? They're up.
01:14:48 ''and then we have to up our game, and that's...
01:15:57 And of course he wasn't a terrorist, he was a businessman and a famiIy man,
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