00:00:03 'ALLO 'ALLO!
00:00:21 What a morning this has been. My wife Edith
00:00:24 has just been going thrugh all her songs with her new pianist.
00:00:27 He, by a strange coinceidence, just happens to be the twin brother
00:00:31 of monsieur Leclerc, the old forger.
00:00:33 Ernest, for that is his name was being visited by Roger in the nick,
00:00:38 Where he was serving a rather long sentence
00:00:41 for driving a getaway car without due care and attention.
00:00:44 Anyway, Roger decided to swap places with his brother
00:00:47 because he was of the opinion that the prison food was better
00:00:50 than that being served here by my wife Edith.
00:00:53 So Ernest has now got his feet well and truly under our table,
00:00:56 but it will only be a short while before his brother was about the food.
00:01:07 What did i tell you?
00:01:09 So if you will bear with me,
00:01:12 those of you with good memories may recall that a few months ago,
00:01:15 upon the orders of general Von Klinkerhoffen, i was arrested,
00:01:18 put in front of a firing squad and shot.
00:01:21 Fortunately the colonel substituted wooden bullets for the real ones.
00:01:24 Lieutenant Gruber, who was in charge of the shooting party,
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